Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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