Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
false alarm, still single
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
