The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
