kristin has been a bad kristin
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
