You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
