if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize