you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
