New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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