i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize