A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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