Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
