the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i've created a new STD.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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