i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
