So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
