I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
