if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
