did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
