with your own penis?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize