I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
