pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
