just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
