He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
