yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
