Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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