made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
