I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
