Pappa wants mamma naked
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
