you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize