I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize