i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize