do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
