i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
