youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
