It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
