if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize