We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
