I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
