at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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