Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
