I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
