I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
