Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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