is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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