I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
