that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
