D3 body, D1 cock
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
