fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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