Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize