yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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