I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
