When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
