She is in my trunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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