rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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