New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
