What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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