you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
