If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
