all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
