who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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